Aren't Wedding Dreams Supposed to End at, Oh, I Don't Know...THE WEDDING?!

So, I had a wedding nightmare dream the other night. And it's been, oh, YEARS, since our wedding. So I pretty much thought I was safe from any more wedding nightmares. Although I did have more of those on our HONEYMOON than I did before the wedding. So I probably should have expected the years-later-wedding-nightmare stragglers. But I didn't. So my brain decided to have a little fun with me.

I dreamt (dreamed? Never did get a straight answer on that one in grade school!) that Mr. Perfect and I were at our wedding reception (which had the sort of yellow glow of Italian restaurants in gangster movies, and I believe was set in a reception hall....) Also, I'm pretty sure my dress had poufy sleeves, and I was sporting a weird 80s/early 90s gigantor wedding headpiece. But my dress was mermaid-style...so at least I had that going for me.

We were at our weird Tony & Tina wedding reception and the toasts were happening. And all of a sudden my mother-in-law stepped up to the microphone and said "And NOW, Mr. Perfect and Mrs. Sitcom will @#$%*()&$)(%*()!" I couldn't tell what she said, but I knew that MEANT that we had to immediately go up on stage and read the funny little roasts/bios that we had written about everyone in the wedding party.

Except it actually meant EVERYONE. IN. ATTENDANCE.

Oh yeah, and? We hadn't written anything. Bios. Roasts. Nothing. This was a complete surprise.

But it was also listed right there in the program. You know...the program we had for our RECEPTION...? Who does that?!

We do, apparently. In my wedding dreams.

So I started to panic, and mother-in-law was up at the mic waiting for us to come up and perform our little monkey show.

Dead. Air.

I kept thinking "I can save this, we can do it, we can fix it, we'll just stall them for a couple of minutes, if it's only a couple minutes no one will notice, we can fix it, just stall, just stall...." while I ran into "the" back room.

To write the bios quickly.

Of course.

Also? Mr. Perfect was nowhere to be found, so I was trying to bust out these bios by myself. And while I was in the back room panicking, the dead air was drawing out longer and longer, mother-in-law was still waiting at the mic, it was getting worse and worse.

Suddenly I was holding all the bios. I found them? I *wrote* them?!

I was up at the microphone...but in a bathrobe. And I was holding the bios, but I did not possess the ability to actually *read* them. HA!

Then I ran back into the back room to try to find Mr. Perfect, and I found him but then the bathrobe was suddenly crazy-dirty, like dirt and black marks all over it?! And I was up on stage in front of all our guests.

Still telling myself I could "save" it.

And then I woke up.

Whew! Sure got out of reading those bios, huh?! Hope no one noticed my dirty robe!